The Art of Self Worth
Did you know 85% of people have low self-esteem? Join Sarah Anne and Sarah Kelly for conversations about discovering our worth. Each of us has the potential to make a positive impact on the world. However, we often forget this and become disconnected from our true worth. Finding our worth is a lifelong journey that includes play, joy, pain, fear, healing, unlearning, re-learning, and more. In this podcast we share the good, bad and in-between around self-worth. You are worthy.
The Art of Self Worth
Rekindling Joy: Navigating Hopelessness and Restoring Hope
Have you ever felt like the weight of the world is too much to bear? You’re not alone.
In this vulnerable episode, Sarah Anne and Sarah Kelly explore their own experiences of losing and rediscovering hope, including a recent period where Sarah Anne felt completely devoid of hope—a state she had never experienced before. It was not fun.
Together, we explore the heavy, suffocating grip of hopelessness and the steps we've taken to navigate those moments when anxiety and depression take hold. (Spoiler: the answer lies in community and connection!)
When in that state of hopelessness, even the simplest acts of self-care and reaching out for support can feel impossible. The things that did bring us joy, hope and connection stop working. We don’t have the energy to do the things we normally do to keep regulated and balanced.
But what if we could ask for help? Or even just accept help when it is offered? How might our community guide us back to joy and hope? Letting others in, even when it’s terrifying, can remind us that we’re not alone. And help us reconnect to hope.
Whether you’re facing a significant life challenge or just the everyday grind, this episode offers practical advice, stories from our experiences with mental health, and a powerful reminder that it’s okay to not have everything together.
If you’re struggling with the feelings of hopelessness, isolation, anxiety, depression or self-harm, please reach out for help. Our podcast is for educational and informational purposes only, based on our personal experiences, and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. A licensed mental health professional can help you discover the path of healing right for you. We’re here, and we understand.
Listeners in the USA can call the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Helpline Monday-Friday from 10am-10pm ET at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264), text “HelpLine” to 62640, or visit https://www.nami.org/support-education/nami-helpline/ for more resources.
✨ You are meant to shine. ✨
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I'm really excited because we kind of we took a little break from our podcast and now we are back.
Sarah Kelly:We are back and I love what we're coming back with, because today we're coming back with hope. That's the topic. Hope, spark of light, that thing that makes us all like, oh yay, we got this. That's what we want to talk.
Sarah Anne:I'm so excited about this topic and, um, I recently I really got the experience of what it's like to live without hope. Um, and it was, it was hard. Um, I've never, I've never felt like that before, like I didn't know what to do. I didn't know like who to reach out to, like not having hope, ooh.
Sarah Kelly:Yeah, it's rough. It's rough. That darkness that can come on a personal level and a community wide level is just so heavy, like I think of heaviness when I think of loss of hope, like that darkness that just like can't breathe. Heavy Like I think of heaviness when I think of loss of hope, like that darkness that just like can't breathe. Um, and I was wondering if you were going to want to talk about your personal experience, and here we are, so let's just dive right in. Last week or two weeks ago, I got a call from Sarah and I heard her voice and I was like what is wrong? And I heard her voice and I was like what is wrong?
Sarah Anne:I didn't even have the words I, I and here let's just be transparent. What did I feel hopeless about? It was the entire world, it was. There was no part of my life that I could see hope in. And I know that sounds super defeatist now, because I have hope again, but that was so real. I didn't know what to do and I didn't even know how to start the conversation and I'm so grateful that you did, because basically I just started, I was just crying. I would just cry like multiple times every day. We'd be like talking on the phone and I would just start crying again because I would remember how hopeless and horrible the world was.
Sarah Kelly:And it was a stark contrast because, as someone that, for myself, struggles with depression and anxiety, like I can get in these tunnels and have, like my lifetime and while you have struggled with your own mental health issues at different times like you have always had this air of lightness, like it's all going to be okay, like there's always an edge of optimism. That's not the toxic positivity optimism, but like, oh no, we're going to be okay, like it's just always there. It's a part of your innate personality that I've known since we were in our early 20s. And to hear like this wobble in your voice and say I'm hopeless. I was like, okay, I'm getting in the car, like I I don't know when, I don't know how, but I'm gonna look at my calendar and I am getting in the car to come get you and you did, and it was so helpful.
Sarah Anne:And not only did did you, but but so did um, so did Laura, and, like the that, for me there's multiple things that brought back my hope, and I'll get to that in a moment, but I think that was what was so surprising for me. Sarah is exactly what you said. I'm a problem solver. I look at the world, no matter how bad it is, and I find solutions. I find solutions that we can implement to, like, make the world better, even if it's just a small part. And a couple of weeks ago I was looking at the problems and I couldn't find a solution and I didn't know what to do. There was no solution that I could see, and that was what really brought me into that state of hopelessness. What?
Sarah Kelly:did that feel like, physically and mentally, like what happened for you?
Sarah Anne:You. Physically, I was just. I felt aches in my body, I felt exhausted, but mentally I couldn't really feel anything. I felt overwhelmed, I felt tight, I felt nothing. That's the truth. And when I did feel anything, I felt despair. I just felt pain in my heart and I felt like anytime I did feel anything, I felt like the world was going to end and like I've truly never felt that before.
Sarah Kelly:So yeah, it's interesting to me because when you describe it to me it feels like a mixture of how I experience both anxiety and depression.
Sarah Kelly:Like for depression, I always joke and please audience.
Sarah Kelly:No, I'm joking because I take my mental health very seriously, but I always say I'd rather depression than anxiety, because at least depression I sleep, um, whereas anxiety, like I want to pull off my skin and to me, when I have the combination that can bring that hopelessness, it's this despair that's like so deep that I can, like all I want to do is hide in my covers and sleep, like I just want to check out from the world and at the same time I want to like scream and rip off my like.
Sarah Kelly:I can't describe it like more than wanting to kind of like pull off my skin Like this, like itchiness of, like I need to do something, like I can't do anything, like this desperation, um, and with the two combined it's really challenging, um, challenging, and even just talking about it, like my body's gotten like really tense and like braced. It's that feeling of brace for, like what's going to happen, because if there's no hope, what's going to happen? Um, like hope is what I thrive on, like light is what I thrive on Like that optimism, that like no matter what, like there's good on the other side is what gets me through. So when that's gone it just feels like yeah.
Sarah Anne:And like, even Even my, like as you know, I do have mental health struggles as well and the things that normally bring me peace, like being out in my garden, going for walks, seeing my, seeing my spaghetti sisters For, like, a Friday night dinner, like those things I just kept not having the energy and capability to do, and like I, just my garden is right there, you know, I can see it when I'm working. And like I wasn't, I wasn't even able to like, get myself out there and like, yeah, For me that feels really scary.
Sarah Kelly:Does that feel scary to you, or does it feel sad or like a little of all of it?
Sarah Anne:When I was in it, I felt frustrated. I felt really frustrated because I was like I felt frustrated that I didn't have the capabilities to do some things that I felt like might bring me back into, bring me out of hopelessness. The thing is is when I was in that state and why I wasn't doing those things was because I felt like nothing could restore my hope. I was like like I had the one voice on my shoulder being like girl, go out into your garden, connect with your friends, blah, blah, blah, eat some food. And the other voice would be like but what's the point? What's the point If you go out in your garden, nothing's going to change. What's the point? And like, that was really where I was and I was.
Sarah Anne:I was so proud of myself for like, for like when you guys offered to come and to say yes, because that felt like a big deal. I was like, even when I said yes, I was like say yes, you need to. But I was like it's not going to change anything, nothing's going to change by them coming. Like you're still going to be and you're just going to drag them down. I was like, but I said yes and I was so, so grateful for it.
Sarah Kelly:For the record, I was coming with it. You said yes or no, Like I don't know what's happening or why it's happening, but I'm going to New York, that's just what's happening. It'll been like, well, what's happening with Sarah? I don't know, I'm just going to New York. I'm going to New York and I think, like you know, I think this is such an important conversation because I believe that everyone experiences this feeling at some point in their life. Like some experience it often, some experience it very rarely, but I feel like it's a universal feeling that can happen and it lends ears to why community is so important, Like why having the people that know you so well is so important and going with, like how do we build that? Because you know a friendship of over 20 years like I can hear in your voice. But like what happens when that's not nearby or accessible? And that's what I really look at. Like Ooh, we all have a hand in this, whether it's like a person down the street or your bestie, Right, yeah.
Sarah Anne:Yeah, and I think that's such a great reminder. That you just said is like everybody at some point will likely feel hopelessness, will likely feel sadder than they ever thought possible number than they ever thought possible like and it's a reality.
Sarah Kelly:We need to be talking about right Like, because, especially those of us who are eternally optimistic, like I, was on a call this week and I was like I'm hopeless romantic, love will be there. Love will be there, it's coming. And so when so many people see that as the outside version of ourselves, um, I like the outside version to be real too. I'm like, oh yeah, sometimes it gets really dark over here.
Sarah Anne:What do you do when you're in because you have so many more tools for better or for worse?
Sarah Kelly:Yeah, I got. I joked with my therapist this week. I was like it turns out, 40 years of therapy gives you like a lot of tools and skills Like I get to see them in real time now, which is pretty amazing, you know. It brings me back. My first ever dark depression was medication induced, actually by a migraine medication, and I think I would have struggled with depression at some point anyway, given trauma. But I can see this so clearly.
Sarah Kelly:I was like in sixth grade and I was playing some Madonna song over and over. I wish I could remember what it was on the top of my head. I'll have to find it and write it at the bottom on a CD player. Might've even been a tape, it might've been a tape, sixth grade could be. It was like the changeover of CDs and tapes and just feeling like what's the point? And my depression has always gotten me to places of what's the point?
Sarah Kelly:Um, and feelings like I just want this all to end, but never a feeling. I've never had um ideation to unalive myself, which I'm really, really grateful for. I'm really grateful for it because I think that combination that can come in. I just like have so much respect for the people that fight through that. For me, hope has always looked like well, it's looked different over the years, so that was the first time I felt it. Now, sometimes I feel like it's automatic response, like this is what's happening. So this is what I need to do, whether I want to or have the energy to like, I often give myself a time period to feel feelings and then I have to do the actionable steps, no matter what like, just it is what has to be done.
Sarah Kelly:I have to go outside and breathe fresh air. I have to let my circle around me, my closest internal little circle, know what's happening. Immediately. I call in my whole support team, I call in my therapist, my sponsorship family, my friends, my family family, and let them know and then do the things. And I think that's also why, hearing your voice, I think that bringing the people in is the most important step to get you going, because they're the people that are like oh no, we're going to go eat right now, we're going to go outside right now, like, or you can just cry and I'm just going to sit here, but it's that witness of what's happening, because it's so isolating and it feels, or at least to me.
Sarah Kelly:I want to really make clear my feelings because I know it happens differently for everyone. I feel so disconnected from the world. Hopelessness to me is disconnection. It's disconnection to good, um. It's disconnection to actionable. It's disconnection to like something, um, joyful is going to happen, and so the people that are closest to me that can like mirror back well, actually you have a lot of connection, like actually you've had a lot of joy and we're just going to sit here while you don't. And what do you need? Yeah, I wouldn't have known that answer. I would say connection is the number one thing to get me out, and the hardest thing to do, the hardest thing to do when in that state, is to connect with someone else, to connect with someone else.
Sarah Anne:Yeah, yeah, it was, I was, so I'm so lucky that, um, that I had to talk to you, right? I mean, we, we work together, so it wasn't an option to to not and um, and I'm I'm very grateful for that, yeah.
Sarah Kelly:It's that built in daily connection, like we connect on a daily basis, right? So I think, in starting to think of like building a toolkit for anyone that's listening, it's like well, my brain goes to solution too, right, if you're like well, I don't have that Like, how do you start building that Like, how do you start getting those relationships where that person will hear the voice Like or what happens there? Or the scariest thing ever of saying like something's not right and I, like I just need to tell you. I usually don't ask for help. I usually say like I just need you to know what's going on. That's my way of saying like I might need help and as long as I know you're like right there, then I can, I can reach it, and it's almost like knowing that helps. There is enough for me to next step. What sparked your?
Sarah Anne:hope. Well, there is the in, the inward and the outward. So the inward was the connection. Like the inward was y'all If you, if, if we put up the video of this, you're just going to see him like crying this whole episode. So enjoy, that's normal for any episode with us as regular listeners now.
Sarah Anne:But I think the biggest thing that really got me through was the connection, was seeing my friends drop everything and driving and being there for me and holding space and like that I think was the most healing thing. But then the outward world shifted right. I mean, for me that I think was the biggest thing because, frankly, if you and Laura had come but nothing had changed, my hope probably would have been much longer to rekindle. I would have felt support, I hopefully would have gotten out of that deep, deep hopelessness. But my hope would have been a lot more fractured than it is now and a lot harder to sustain.
Sarah Anne:But, frankly, the biggest thing that rekindled my hope was Harris getting in the race, was Biden taking a step back and seeing maybe Project 2025 won't be a reality. That, coupled with my community and seeing how strong my community was, made me realize that my community is strong. We are strong, but my community is not unique. The people that make it up really are people that can change the world, and now we have an opportunity to. And now I feel things won't be perfect if Harris is president Of course not, it won't be right because we have to change so much. But now I see hope and now I see a way forward, and I truly didn't before.
Sarah Kelly:And I think, just like we need to address our internal or like I guess it's not necessarily internal, but our our little life hopelessness versus like world hopelessness, like and the reality of I think a couple of weeks ago is, when you were crying, I was like yeah, yeah, yeah, it's scary, it's scary, it's scary.
Sarah Kelly:I don't know how I'm coping some days or I'm not coping some days, like so much is happening worldwide that feels hopeless, that just feels like what in the humanity is going on, that just feels like what in the humanity is going on. And to be bombarded daily with what in the humanity is going on by visual audio, all of this with our senses, in a way that has never been exposed before, is just a lot for the human experience. It's a lot for the human experience and that's coming from an extremely privileged place, like about as privileged as you can get, and it's a lot. And so I think the community level of that we also saw like a deep breath happen, like at least in our little spheres a couple of weeks ago, of like okay, we're not alone in this, like there are other people, there are other warriors, there are other like truth seekers, there are other, all of these people that have a layer of eternal optimism for humanity for humanity.
Sarah Anne:Yeah, that is it. And after, first of all, harris running for president was what restored my hope. But I want to get Biden his dues. Biden stepping down gave me hope right. An old, established white dude taking a step away from power for the betterment of the country did so much to restore my hope. And then, in addition to that, seeing the you know the hope scrolling, you know, like that weekend of like, once Biden made the announcement, harris stepped up and just all of the beautiful content that was uplifting again, that was inspiring again, that was not talking about hate but talking about that connection and that love. I cannot tell you the last time that scrolling through social media was healthy for me, but these last couple of weeks it has been Between Harris and then all of the amazing, powerful women and all of the athletes at the Olympics seeing their camaraderie across country lines and all of that these past couple of weeks have done so much to restore my hope and so much realness and mental health.
Sarah Kelly:Like I think that's like, oh, we're going to address the actual reality that's happening and we're going to sprinkle joy on top. Like that, to me, is what I think lifts me up, is like there's a picture of Harrison Walls just beaming and I was like it's joy. Like to me, that's what hope is Hope equals joy. Like it's that, no matter what life is going to be hard, there's going to be trauma. There's going to be people that are unkind and cruel I'm not going to say unkind, cruel and have issues and I'm still going to show up with joy. Like that's to me the ultimate fighting tool.
Sarah Anne:Like that's to me, the ultimate fighting tool is feel the feelings, face reality, show up with joy and then take action to bring that joy to others. Yeah, yes, the take action part is so important. Yeah, and and and again. Like going back now I feel like I can take action.
Sarah Kelly:Now I'm inspired again, right, it's like now I feel like I can take action. Now I'm inspired again. It's like now I have energy. I feel so strong now and it's just amazing what a couple of weeks can do. Yeah, the collective of hope makers, peacemakers, joy makers that are like no, this is going to be hard, but we're going to. We're not letting hate come over us, we're not letting fear win, we're not letting bullies come in and like take over, um, and that can be so true internally, when you're in that moment of like, hey, you know what negative voice who feels like there's nothing in the lake, it's not worth it, like, let's just quiet down a little. I'm just going to give you, we're going to sprinkle a little love and joy and say like heard, and no, not today. Today I'm going to get up, but in that hopeless state it's so hard, it's so hard.
Sarah Anne:It's so hard. Yeah, the collective really got me out of it, though you know like community and the community I know, but then community, I don't know. You know both like helped me to get out of it, so maybe that's, maybe that's a place to start. If you're looking for community and don't have it yet in your real life, are there some content creators that you want to follow that bring you joy when you see them Start there? I know, right, we always look down on social media, but it is a tool that we can use if we use it selectively, I think it goes back to what we always say is the irony of self-love is that it happens in community.
Sarah Kelly:Like you know, all of the self-love first and stuff happens in community. It is through community that we learn to love ourselves. It is in community that we are able to, like, step into the hope.
Sarah Anne:That's so true, and you know I feel like we talk about this a lot. It's okay If you're doing action at first, not for you, right? If you need to like, externalize it and and um, do it for someone else or do it for your future or whatever, that's okay. You know that doing it for yourself will come when you're on the path.
Sarah Kelly:You know, and I also think, like thinking of community past, just people too, like I know, people whose dogs have saved their lives, like in active addiction, like taking a dog for a walk or feeding it was what like kept them alive, like kept that hope. And so I think like just finding those small ways too, which isn't small your family, your furry friend and family member, but it's not always human connection. So I just want to say that out loud too. I feel like that's really important to voice.
Sarah Anne:Thank you for voicing that, because Smokey the cat was instrumental in bringing back my hope. Yeah, girlfriend, even though it was like 90 degrees would be like on my stomach, cuddling and just purring and like, yeah, just giving so much love. So I, and if you're in a spot where you can't have an animal companion, volunteer, volunteer at an animal shelter and, like I know, right earlier I said I couldn't even go out into the garden. So I want to say lots to you. If you heard this and you're like, yes, I'm hopeless, I'm going to go to the animal shelter, okay, I understand that I wouldn't have been able to do that.
Sarah Kelly:Okay, I was going to bring it down to a notch. So just go visit the animal shelter and pet a dog or a cat. That's better. If you can volunteer, you're like gold stars on your way to like. Oh, If all you can do is stop a neighbor walking by with a dog to say hi to the dog, that works too, maybe start there, my eternally optimistic Sarah is back.
Sarah Kelly:She is back Well, and laughing. That's such an important reminder is we don't actually go anywhere. Like if you're listening to this and feeling hopeless, like you're in there, your spark is still there, you just can't see it, and I think that is. You know, these points of reminders to like, oh, this isn't forever, this is today. Like this isn't forever, this is for the next hour, this isn't forever. Like, however small, you need to break it down, cause that would be the other thing that I've done. To like, help my brain. It's like you know what, for the next 10 minutes, I'm going to be okay. The next 10 minutes, I'm going to shelve this thought and just go take a shower, or if I make some toast, it's not going to change anything, but I am going to be fed and that will make me feel better about the world, maybe. Or I'll just go back to sleep, like just little tricks.
Sarah Anne:Okay, I love that Because that's something I couldn't do. Like when I was in that state, I actually felt like change wasn't possible. I was like I don't see how things can change and I wasn't looking small enough, I was making change, I was. And that, breaking it down into 10-minute increments, man, sarah, that is a tool, that's a really good tool.
Sarah Kelly:Wow, way less than one day at a time.
Sarah Kelly:Like there have been times in my life I've gone five minutes at a time Like for five minutes. I don't have to pick up this unhealthy coping mechanism. Whatever it may be Like for five minutes, I can wait five minutes. If, in five minutes, I like can't stop thinking about it, I'll readdress it and then, in five minutes being like, let's try five more, maybe you could do 10. What could you do instead? What could you do instead for 10 minutes? Um, and then you can go back to bed, then you can space out to Netflix, then you can do whatever, but for 10 minutes, what can you do for yourself?
Sarah Anne:Oh my gosh, there's so many connections here, cause that's how I trick my ADHD brain Go to the kitchen and do two dishes.
Sarah Kelly:It's genius. Then your hands are wet, so you do them, they're all. So you shower and then you're like, well, I guess I'll put on real clean clothes instead of my pajamas, because now I'm clean, or I'll put on clean pajamas, yes, and then it just brings you like a little down the road, and that is ultimately how self-love is done too. Like it's not this like magical moment where rain, beer, rain beer the hell was that I get myself to a meeting today Rainbows and butterflies and glitter come out. It's like, oh, I set a boundary at work. Or oh, I took a shower when I didn't feel like it. Or like, oh, I went to therapy to address this really hard thing. That's the stuff that builds self-love.
Sarah Anne:So, hey, we hope you're not feeling hopeless, but we also hope that, if you are, you keep this episode just kind of like around to listen to and to remember that it won't be forever and that there are some ways to just bring a little bit of hope into your life.
Sarah Kelly:Five minutes at a time, minutes at a time, and if you feel like you have no one to connect, to connect to us.
Sarah Anne:Yeah, just DM us. Y'all. We don't have that many followers. We will respond. Okay, like. If you don't feel like you have, community, reach out. Okay, we welcome you to ours. We are very happy to be, to be that and hopefully now you are feeling some hope. If you're not, we'll put in some of our favorite instagram followers in the comments and you can just kind of scroll, see what they're doing and maybe get hopeful from them.
Sarah Kelly:Oh, I love that. That feels like a fun challenge for us, like go find our most hopeful people I have.
Sarah Anne:I have a couple of people. I have a couple of people in mind.
Sarah Kelly:You know, yeah, amazing, until next time. See ya soon.
